The WEDLOCK Project
Part Two: PDA (Public Displays of Acceptance)

Archive for the ‘blog’ Category

Oct 20 2009

The Two Month Mark

It’s TT here. As the non-blogger in the house this is coming as a little strange, but with the end of the first part of the Project happening this weekend (the last day of viewing for the ENGAGEMENT is Friday 10/23) and Part II – PDAs starting in just about a month, it seemed like time to update the blog on the site. I also realized as we are getting ready for our the ENGAGEMENT Artist Talk tonight that as of yesterday, October 19th, 2009, we have been married for exactly two months.

The day to day seems to have remained the same. Michael is busy writing and working, I have my own work and two EFFECTUS events have transpired, not to mention that we keep plugging away with The WEDLOCK Project and expanding in our own creative realms. The garden still needs tending, the cats need feeding, laundry done etc. Not much has changed at all after 9+ years of being together and loving one another, right?

The truth of the matter is that a lot has changed… for the better. In 2004 when we gained the right to be married in Massachusetts, I was one of those gay men who thought, “That’s great if that is what you want, and it does help in the fight for equality, but it’s not for me.” Five years later, after a lot of discussion and an actual marriage to my partner and here I am. I, who never thought he would get married, who at one time thought that marriage was an affront to my “radical queer identity” – I am married. For better or for worse, I have come to believe that this fight for marriage equality is a tool in the arsenal of my “radical queer identity.”

And whether I want to admit it or not – I feel different – I feel different when I am talking to someone about my “husband” and not my “partner” (a word I always had trouble with). I feel different when we are walking down the street or riding the subway or grocery shopping and I am inclined to grab Michael’s hand or give him a peck on the cheek. I feel different in a lot of circumstances. Most of the time that different feeling is a feeling of empowerment.

How about that.. ? It is like coming out all over again. I am inclined to want to make it a point that I am married, and that it took a long time for me to be okay with that and now I want to be like other married people (and still be queer). Though this is happening through the Project in a very unconventional way, I still maintain my own personal feeling that I have grown from the experience.

At least in Massachusetts and the handful of other states where our marriage is recognized I feel that way. I don’t know what it will be like if I go back to Ohio or Pennsylvania to visit my family. I don’t know what it will be like to travel to anywhere in the South or the Midwest. After reading about Louisiana Justice Keith Bardwell‘s refusal to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple, I realized that there is a long row to hoe for all of us when it comes to acceptance and inclusion in this country, but – I do think that wherever I go, from now on I will carry around a self-confidence about my relationship that I didn’t always have.

We’ll see…

Sep 2 2009

Ben & Jerry’s renames ice cream “Hubby Hubby”

Wow, first gay marraige in Vermont and now a gay flavor of ice cream! (At least for the month of September: What is the world coming to…

What will there be next? Airports named after gay icons? Ladies and gentleman, we would like to welcome you to the Leonardo da Vinci International Airport. Or perhaps in keeping with contemporary American Culture–the Adam Lambert domestic airport (I didn’t know he was gay…did you know he was gay–who knew, I just thought the hair and outfits were colorful).

Maybe a whole line of liquors like Liberace limoncello–can you imagine? Or Cruise (aka Tom) Cosmos–just a splash of pink for color, hardly tastes gay at all. (Just a caveat here, a friend of a friend of an ex-lover claims to have slept with TC. But maybe he is not really gay but just loves the lifestyle?)

It seems like the 21st century is just waiting to explode with gay icons. I propose a virtual “Gay Mount Rushmore”. Any suggestions besides you and your three exes?

Sep 1 2009

Vermont begins issuing marriage licenses to gay/lesbian couples

At exactly midnight tonight, Vermont will become the sixth state to officially recognize same-sex marriage.

“Vermont’s gay marriage law began taking effect at midnight on Tuesday, a little over four months after state lawmakers voted to override Gov. Jim Douglas’ veto of the legislation and added to the number of states who have legalized same-sex marriage.

Vermont is the first state to legalize same-sex marriages without an order from the court. Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa all allowed such marriages only after bitter court battles.”

Aug 21 2009

Some Time Off…

A bit of a crash today after a week of intense build-up. So a couple of days of down time to regroup around the Project (and take some much needed R&R). BLOG break until Monday…

Aug 20 2009

Just Married!

Wow, the Romeos are now married! (At least legally…the spiritual union will take place next August, 2010 on our 10th anniversary). Still yesterday’s ceremony was poignant and powerful. To have our “gay” relationship legally recognized by the Commonwealth of MA was more moving to me than I anticipated. Marriage equality is an enormous step in the direction of equal citizenship and equal rights. I am still amazed at the number of people who, seeing us in our ceremonial garb, sincerely congratulated us upon being told the occasion. It is a great state this Massachusetts!

Aug 19 2009

Kicking off the Project

Day 1: first “official” day of The WEDLOCK Project. The year-long WEDLOCK Project conceptualized over the past two years by artists TTBaum and Michael Grohall was successfully launched today. Today was our 9th anniversary and the day we chose to “tie the knot” legally at City Hall in Boston. The entire day could not have unfolded any more perfectly. In our Indian grooms’ wedding outfits we took City Hall by storm (and turned many a head—link to gallery). Two couples joined us for the ceremony along with photographer Nathaniel Fink. See NEWS for additional info.

Interestingly enough, the Wedsday 8/19 cover of the New York Times featured an article about Theodore B. Olson’s court case challenging the constitutional legality of Prop 8 before the U.S. Supreme Court. The article entitled: The Road to Championing Same-Sex Marriage can be read at: It is an articulate report on why a conservative lawyer (he argued and won Bush vs. Gore before the Supreme Court) would tackle the cause of same-sex marriage. Check it out!