In news this week, the legislature in Virginia began the process to vote a new (and some might say older) version of the anti-discrimination protections bill into law for workers of the state. The reason that the question is even on the table for the lawmakers in Virginia is due to the fact that Gov. McDonnell recently repealed anti-discrimination protections for GLBTQ state employees.

According to sources at the Washington Post, McDonnell’s stance is that, “his predecessors had overstepped their executive authority by including sexual orientation protections in the orders and has not renewed them. He said the issue would be properly decided by the General Assembly.” This seems to be more of the same argument that many lawmakers, and states are using to remove existing protections for queer citizens with regard to marriage equality in places like California and Maine.

The new-old bill on the floor of the General Assembly in Virginia has passed the largely Democratic House, but it is expected to be killed by lawmakers in the more conservative Senate. More on the Governor’s stance and possible motives can be found here.

My question is, when did we become America’s pariahs? Last year it took tacking a hate crimes bill onto a defense bill for the federal government to even consider GLBTQ people in that lawmaking decision, and even then it still didn’t pass. Living in a country where defense spending tops EVERYTHING in the Federal Government, it is astonishing that my sexuality could play such a huge roll in one bill. It has prompted states to take away rights of marriage equality that had already existed, again creating a second class of citizens, and in some cases even third. Now Governor McDonnell has taken away his own states employees rights against discrimination which could lead to good, hardworking people being fired for who they love, in an already tight job market.

All of this with the argument that executive and judicial powers are being abused when laws are instituted outside the legislative process- laws that are meant to equalize and protect EVERYONE!

I didn’t see any of these guys raising a stink when the Supreme Court recently sold our election process to the highest corporate bidders.

Think.

This morning I woke up to read this news article online (see link below).  The headline stated that defense officials are ready to lift the ban on gays in the military. Despite strong opposition from Republican leaders (particularly John McCain) both Defense Secretary Roberts Gates and Joint Chiefs Chairman Adm. Mike Mullen believe the ban should be lifted. They have asked for a year to review the impact and to prepare for this change in military policy. Ultimately, it is Congress that must pass a new law to end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100203/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_military_gays

As you all know we were legally married in Massachusetts in August of 2009. In preparing questions for a radio interview this Friday, we wrote down – “What would you do if you moved to a state where your marriage was not recognized?” Though we don’t have an answer prepared for that one yet what brought the question to mind was the state of California. Not only has it been in the news with the Prop 8 hearings, but we are planning a move and that is our destination. On our most recent trip to San Francisco, we were reminded that as of January 1, 2010 our marriage is recognized by California law.

The same can be said in New York, Rhode Island, New Mexico and Washington, DC. All of these places deny same-sex marriage to their residents, but honor the legal standing of marriages from other states, like Massachusetts. The two tier rights system established by the open denial of marriage equality in these places has now become even more convoluted. A third class of citizen has been created, of which I am a part and in some ways ashamed to say has more rights than my brothers and sisters who have been battling for equality in these states.

The state of affairs regarding same-sex marriage in California is particularly interesting to me. Not only can residents no longer get married there, and my marriage is recognized, but the 18,000 marriages performed before Proposition 8 was voted in remain legally binding too. That means that the “second-class” gay and lesbian citizens in the state who cannot be married legally there, now also have the “option” to travel elsewhere, get legally married in one of the states where they are allowed to and bring that home to California with them. Talk about confusion!!

It was only a matter of time before the quagmire in the West could no longer be contained. The California Federal Court battle that is now taking place and aims to remove Proposition 8, will undoubtedly have national ramifications. I don’t see any immediate lasting resolution in this case, but that by no means spells disaster for those of us supporting and making a case for equality among GLBT people. In fact, as the future of appeals and arguments could continue for this case and the issue of same-sex marriage at large, this could be the very thing we need to positively bring same-sex marriage equality to the national stage.

In the meantime, Michael and I are fortunate enough to live in Massachusetts, where we will continue to be grateful for the freedom we have to exercise our rights. And while we do that – we will also continue to make work through this project that asks YOU to think about where you stand.

Will Phillips, a ten year-old boy from Arkansas last week began a sort of “Pledge of Allegiance” strike, saying that he will not say the Pledge until there is truly “liberty and justice for all.” For Will, that includes the ability for same-sex couples to get married. There is a little snippet about it in the Huffington Post including a video.

After reading the article and watching the video, it is apparent that this kid gets it. By that I don’t mean – he gets the reason why marriage is such a hot button issue, why it can be an important piece of a larger puzzle on the road to equality. He evidently does; he has thought long and hard about it. More importantly he gets the “thinking” part.

What a refreshing thing to see.. on mainstream media no less! Even more refreshing was Phillips’ father, who said that after having a reaction to the subtitute teacher’s side of the story, he put his anger away so that he could talk with his son. I don’t know about you, but where I come from until you are well into your teens there is no-one who wants to hear your opinion, thoughts, etc. On the contrary the very idea of doing something so radical as to exercise your constitutional rights for what you truly believe in is often seen as unpatriotic, seditious and deviant – and not only when you are a child. Three cheers to the Phillips family for giving their son the room to be a dynamic individual with his own thoughts and beliefs, even if they are other than those around him.

Will understands as many of us probably understood at his age and earlier, that when you think for yourself, when you really take the time to chew on a question and come up with your own valid opinions, convictions and beliefs – it ultimately benefits everyone. Why? Because it takes the filters and background noise away and allows us to see others as they truly are. If I concern myself with being the best I can be – from my heart, I will always want that to be the experience for everyone.

Wow…just read the news about the defeat of gay-marriage law in Maine. Do we really live in such a conservative country? Is it really not possible for people to “live and let live”? TT and I have been married for over two months now and not a single Catholic or Mormon church has collapsed. I’m having a hard time trying to understand the rationale behind denying two adult Americans the right to get married. Tim and I are now in the minority of a minority and it feels strange to think that most gay / lesbian Americans can not get married freely. I still believe that change is coming. And I feel even more committed to using The WEDLOCK Project as a vehicle for strategic alliance and social change! I am really looking forward to PDAs (Public Displays of Acceptance) and the impact that will have.

It’s TT here. As the non-blogger in the house this is coming as a little strange, but with the end of the first part of the Project happening this weekend (the last day of viewing for the ENGAGEMENT is Friday 10/23) and Part II – PDAs starting in just about a month, it seemed like time to update the blog on the site. I also realized as we are getting ready for our the ENGAGEMENT Artist Talk tonight that as of yesterday, October 19th, 2009, we have been married for exactly two months.

The day to day seems to have remained the same. Michael is busy writing and working, I have my own work and two EFFECTUS events have transpired, not to mention that we keep plugging away with The WEDLOCK Project and expanding in our own creative realms. The garden still needs tending, the cats need feeding, laundry done etc. Not much has changed at all after 9+ years of being together and loving one another, right?

The truth of the matter is that a lot has changed… for the better. In 2004 when we gained the right to be married in Massachusetts, I was one of those gay men who thought, “That’s great if that is what you want, and it does help in the fight for equality, but it’s not for me.” Five years later, after a lot of discussion and an actual marriage to my partner and here I am. I, who never thought he would get married, who at one time thought that marriage was an affront to my “radical queer identity” – I am married. For better or for worse, I have come to believe that this fight for marriage equality is a tool in the arsenal of my “radical queer identity.”

And whether I want to admit it or not – I feel different – I feel different when I am talking to someone about my “husband” and not my “partner” (a word I always had trouble with). I feel different when we are walking down the street or riding the subway or grocery shopping and I am inclined to grab Michael’s hand or give him a peck on the cheek. I feel different in a lot of circumstances. Most of the time that different feeling is a feeling of empowerment.

How about that.. ? It is like coming out all over again. I am inclined to want to make it a point that I am married, and that it took a long time for me to be okay with that and now I want to be like other married people (and still be queer). Though this is happening through the Project in a very unconventional way, I still maintain my own personal feeling that I have grown from the experience.

At least in Massachusetts and the handful of other states where our marriage is recognized I feel that way. I don’t know what it will be like if I go back to Ohio or Pennsylvania to visit my family. I don’t know what it will be like to travel to anywhere in the South or the Midwest. After reading about Louisiana Justice Keith Bardwell’s refusal to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple, I realized that there is a long row to hoe for all of us when it comes to acceptance and inclusion in this country, but – I do think that wherever I go, from now on I will carry around a self-confidence about my relationship that I didn’t always have.

We’ll see…

Wow, first gay marraige in Vermont and now a gay flavor of ice cream! (At least for the month of September: http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS80321+01-Sep-2009+BW20090901) What is the world coming to…

What will there be next? Airports named after gay icons? Ladies and gentleman, we would like to welcome you to the Leonardo da Vinci International Airport. Or perhaps in keeping with contemporary American Culture–the Adam Lambert domestic airport (I didn’t know he was gay…did you know he was gay–who knew, I just thought the hair and outfits were colorful).

Maybe a whole line of liquors like Liberace limoncello–can you imagine? Or Cruise (aka Tom) Cosmos–just a splash of pink for color, hardly tastes gay at all. (Just a caveat here, a friend of a friend of an ex-lover claims to have slept with TC. But maybe he is not really gay but just loves the lifestyle?)

It seems like the 21st century is just waiting to explode with gay icons. I propose a virtual “Gay Mount Rushmore”. Any suggestions besides you and your three exes?

At exactly midnight tonight, Vermont will become the sixth state to officially recognize same-sex marriage.

“Vermont’s gay marriage law began taking effect at midnight on Tuesday, a little over four months after state lawmakers voted to override Gov. Jim Douglas’ veto of the legislation and added to the number of states who have legalized same-sex marriage.

Vermont is the first state to legalize same-sex marriages without an order from the court. Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa all allowed such marriages only after bitter court battles.”

A bit of a crash today after a week of intense build-up. So a couple of days of down time to regroup around the Project (and take some much needed R&R). BLOG break until Monday…

Wow, the Romeos are now married! (At least legally…the spiritual union will take place next August, 2010 on our 10th anniversary). Still yesterday’s ceremony was poignant and powerful. To have our “gay” relationship legally recognized by the Commonwealth of MA was more moving to me than I anticipated. Marriage equality is an enormous step in the direction of equal citizenship and equal rights. I am still amazed at the number of people who, seeing us in our ceremonial garb, sincerely congratulated us upon being told the occasion. It is a great state this Massachusetts!